People wear socks for many different reasons. Here are my top ten reasons why people should wear socks. Please remember, this is just my opinion, but all others are wrong.
#10 – To Keep Your Feet Warm – Nothing says love like ice cold feet suddenly up close and personal with someone’s back, thigh, calf, or any other part of the human anatomy. Right? Not! Cover those icicles with a pair of socks and the warmth will be appreciated and adored.
#9 – To Provide a Deflecting Target for Cat Attacks – You are walking through your bedroom on your way to the bathroom when out of nowhere a streaking paw with outstretched claws slices across your foot! OUCH! A pair of socks will help soften the attach and protect your feet.
#8 – To Act As a Buffer Between Your Naked Feet and the Callous Interior of Your Shoes – If you have worn your everyday or dress-up shoes with no socks you know what I am talking about. If not, try wearing your shoes with no socks. Go on. Try it. Yeah! See what I mean?
#7 – To Provide Cool and Nifty Fashion to Your Sandal-Sporting Feet – The epitome of high fashion: socks and sandals. Need I say more?
#6 – To Complete a Look (This Goes Along With #7) – Picture this: straight bottom flannel shirt / beige carpenter shorts / white belt / sandals. What is missing? Of course, a pair of black or tan crew socks!
#5 – To Cover a Malodorous Odor – Let’s face it. You walk into a room. The flowers (or any plant within three city blocks) all wilt straight away, wallpaper peels from the walls, pets cover their noses and high-tail it outside, window shades roll up and tears flow down the faces of any in the room. Socks help keep feet from smelling.
#4 – To Cover Hairy Legs (Well, at least the calves, maybe) – Self-explanatory!
#3 – To Provide Quick but Inefficient Floor Cleaning – You look out at the floor of your abode and you get this great idea to not only keep your feet warm and increase the load of your next laundry chore but to clean the floor! Fantastic idea! You put on a pair of socks and “ice skate” around!
#2 – To Tuck Pajama Bottoms In – It is the dead of winter. You are still freezing under six layers of blankets, two sheets, a robe and almost every pair of pants you own. Still cold. Solution: tuck your pants into the top of a pair of socks. No longer cold.
#1 – To Make Your Feet Beautiful – Let's be honest – your feet are no hands. Five protuberances (some quite large while others are possibly wee little things) at the end of a long, narrow, flesh-covered structure of bones, muscles, joints and soft tissue. Yes, feet help keep you upright and mobile, but, beautiful? To be on the safe side, cover them with socks!
by Mark Lyons