Things I Have Time for Now That I Am Retired

Things I Have Time for Now That I Am Retired

by Mark Lyons

Image by Thorsten Frenzel from Pixabay

SammySocks Etc. Blog - Comments and Observations from Someone Who Is a Retired Educator and the Father of Sammy of SammySocks Etc.

            Now that I am retired, I have time to do many things that I never had time for before. This list is my no means complete but here are some of the highlights.

1. Contemplate my navel.
2. Watch documentaries about the noises older men make. I think it’s a six part series.
3. Get to say things like:

            “Let me see, No, nope, I got nothin’ this week.”

            “Oh, wait, I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.”

            “Honey, what’s on TV after the noon news?”

            “Okay, it’s Monday. Should I wear my sweats or just stay in my m

                  manjamas all day.”

            “What day of the week is it?”

4. Reorganize that napkin drawer in the kitchen.
5. Go to the Walmart in the middle of a weekday.
6. Catch up on reading all my AARP magazines.
7. Take a shower only on Thursdays (or is it every other Thursday?).
8. Stay up until after the ten o’clock evening news.
9. Get a doctor’s appointment before 4:00 pm on any weekday.
10. Sing the wrong lyrics at the top of my lungs to songs on the radio in my car while seat dancing, oh, wait, I could have done that at any time.
11. Nap in between my naptimes.
12. Actually spend time coiffuring my hair, and, yes, I still have hair.
13. Put the Georgetown Social Security office phone number on my speed dial.
14. Be on a first name basis with all the agents at the Social Security office in Georgetown because I am on the phone with them so often.
15. Wake up at 5:30 am on a weekday, turn over, and go back to sleep – peacefully.
16. Try to remember my work computer passwords and can’t.
17. Have time to read the fine print.
18. Get in and out of Denny’s with the weekday Early Bird Senior Special before 4 o’clock.
19. Get in the shower, take a long hot shower until the water gets cold, turn off the water, wait for the water to get hot again, and take another hot shower – on Thursdays only (see # 7).
20. Catch up on the All My Children and One Life to Live. What? They aren’t on anymore? Rats!
21. Have a daily standing order for a Senior (free) coffee at McDonald’s.
22. Wear the spandex leotard running pants while grocery shopping at 7:00 am on a Tuesday.
23. Spend hours playing the app game Find the Difference on my Kindle.
24. Look up the word deadline in the dictionary because I have forgotten what it means.
25. Find the remote.