Things I Have Time for Now That I Am Retired
by Mark Lyons
Image by Thorsten Frenzel from Pixabay
SammySocks Etc. Blog - Comments and Observations from Someone Who Is a Retired Educator and the Father of Sammy (a Person with Autism)
Now that I am retired, I have time to do many things that I never had time for before. This list is my no means complete but here are some of the highlights.
- Contemplate my navel.
- Watch documentaries about the noises older men make. I think it’s a six part series.
- Get to say things like:
“Let me see, No, nope, I got nothin’ this week.”
“Oh, wait, I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.”
“Honey, what’s on TV after the noon news?”
“Okay, it’s Monday. Should I wear my sweats or just stay in my m
manjamas all day.”
“What day of the week is it?”
- Reorganize that napkin drawer in the kitchen.
- Go to the Walmart in the middle of a weekday.
- Catch up on reading all my AARP magazines.
- Take a shower only on Thursdays (or is it every other Thursday?).
- Stay up until after the ten o’clock evening news.
- Get a doctor’s appointment before 4:00 pm on any weekday.
- Sing the wrong lyrics at the top of my lungs to songs on the radio in my car while seat dancing, oh, wait, I could have done that at any time.
- Nap in between my naptimes.
- Actually spend time coiffuring my hair, and, yes, I still have hair.
- Put the Georgetown Social Security office phone number on my speed dial.
- Be on a first name basis with all the agents at the Social Security office in Georgetown because I am on the phone with them so often.
- Wake up at 5:30 am on a weekday, turn over, and go back to sleep – peacefully.
- Try to remember my work computer passwords and can’t.
- Have time to read the fine print.
- Get in and out of Denny’s with the weekday Early Bird Senior Special before 4 o’clock.
- Get in the shower, take a long hot shower until the water gets cold, turn off the water, wait for the water to get hot again, and take another hot shower – on Thursdays only (see # 7).
- Catch up on the All My Children and One Life to Live. What? They aren’t on anymore? Rats!
- Have a daily standing order for a Senior (free) coffee at McDonald’s.
- Wear the spandex leotard running pants while grocery shopping at 7:00 am on a Tuesday.
- Spend hours playing the app game Find the Difference on my Kindle.
- Look up the word deadline in the dictionary because I have forgotten what it means.
- Find the remote.