Theories of Why Socks Go Missing From the Dryer

Theories of Why Socks Go Missing From the Dryer

by Mark Lyons


Image by Gundula Vogel from Pixabay

SammySocks Etc. Blog - Comments and Observations from Someone Who Is a Retired Educator and Sammy’s Dad

     You tackle your weekly chores of washing, cleaning, and drying your family’s clothes. This includes socks. As you know, keeping your socks clean is the single most important component of a happy life. It’s not money, power, fame, or paying the cheapest rate for car insurance. It’s clean and dry socks.

     You take your job seriously. But, invariably, you pull the pile of warm and toasty clothes from the dryer, drop them onto your bed, carefully sort and fold each item, and you wind up short one or more socks. You have incomplete pairs. They were there when you or the sock wearer took them off. They were there when you put them into the washing machine. And they were there, you are pretty sure – 99 99/100% certain – when you transferred them from the washing machine to the dryer. But now you are short socks! What happened? Here are several theories:

     - Your cat took them.

     - It always was just one sock to begin with.

     - The socks themselves are making a break for it, one at a time.

     - It’s Extraterrestrials. They are studying our socks to get a better idea of our species before they make first contact.

     - Star Trek is real and Scotty is beaming them up – one sock at a time.

     - Your eyesight is blurry. This could be from that party you had last night and imbibed a little too much. What you thought was a pair of socks was actually only one sock just blurred into two.

- You have a phrogger and they are messing with your mind.

     What solution do we propose for this puzzling dilemma? SammySocks Etc. would like you to order socks from our shop to fill the void of all of those missing socks. Also, get a new cat, stop partying, and check out your attic. We can’t do anything about extraterrestrials, Star Trek, or rogue socks. You are on your own.  


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