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Our Menu Has Changed


Our Menu Has Changed

by Mark Lyons

Image by Alexandra ❤️A life without animals is not worth living❤️ from Pixabay

SammySocks Etc. Blog - Comments and Observations from Someone Who Is a Retired Educator and the Father of Sammy (a Person with Autism). Visit us at www.sammysocksetc.com.

            “Let me just call the pharmacy and refill this prescription,” said Mark. “I will call the number on the bottle. Should be short and sweet. Then I can get back to that great documentary about older men and the noises they make. Who knew there was a retired man’s channel on cable.”

            “Beep! Beep! Beep! Boop! Boop! Boop! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!”

            Muffled sounds are heard on the phone.

            “I am pressing 1,” said Mark.

            Muffled sounds.

            “Oh, the menu’s changed,” said Mark. “I gotta tell somebody. Honey, the menu’s been changed!”

            Muffled sounds.

            “Yeah, I’m listening carefully,” said Mark.

            More muffled sounds.

            “Okay, I have to verify who I am?” asked Mark. “It’s me, Mark. You know me. I call you all the time!”

            Muffled sounds.

            “Oh, you didn’t recognize that response?” said Mark. “Press 3 to verify.”

            Muffled sounds.

            “Okay, enter in my address, phone number, and date of birth. Sure,” said Mark.

            Muffled sounds.

            “Place of birth and mother’s maiden name?” exclaimed Mark. “Boy, the menu has changed. Let me enter that right in.”

            Muffled sounds.

            “Do I have a small mole near the top of my left thigh?” said Mark. “Wow, they really do know me. That would be a yes.”

            Muffled sounds.

            “Who won the Super Bowl in 1984?” asked Mark. “I dunno. The Oakland Raiders? What’s the alternative question?”

            Muffled sounds.

            “What is the maiden name of my second cousin on my mother’s side 2nd grade teacher?” said Mark. “Oh, that’s easy. Let me type that in.”

            Muffled sounds.

            “Huh, it didn’t accept my answer,” said Mark. “Let me try again.”

            Muffled sounds.

            “What? That’s the right name!” yelled Mark. “Oh, wait, I forgot to put it in all CAPS and use the happy face emoji.”

            Muffled sounds.

            “Okay, that worked,” said Mark.

            “Beep! Beep!”

            “Oh, I’ve got another call,” said Mark. “And it’s Social Security. They probably want me to solve their fiscal dilemma, you know the shortfall that’s coming in a few years. But I have to refill this prescription and if I hang up, I will have to verify all over again. I could just go there and do it in the store. But then I have to get dressed and I will miss the next documentary. Ooh, maybe I can do it on Pinterest!”


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