Our Menu Has Changed
by Mark Lyons
Image by Alexandra ❤️A life without animals is not worth living❤️ from Pixabay
SammySocks Etc. Blog - Comments and Observations from Someone Who Is a Retired Educator and the Father of Sammy (a Person with Autism). Visit us at www.sammysocksetc.com.
“Let me just call the pharmacy and refill this prescription,” said Mark. “I will call the number on the bottle. Should be short and sweet. Then I can get back to that great documentary about older men and the noises they make. Who knew there was a retired man’s channel on cable.”
“Beep! Beep! Beep! Boop! Boop! Boop! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!”
Muffled sounds are heard on the phone.
“I am pressing 1,” said Mark.
“Oh, the menu’s changed,” said Mark. “I gotta tell somebody. Honey, the menu’s been changed!”
“Yeah, I’m listening carefully,” said Mark.
More muffled sounds.
“Okay, I have to verify who I am?” asked Mark. “It’s me, Mark. You know me. I call you all the time!”
“Oh, you didn’t recognize that response?” said Mark. “Press 3 to verify.”
“Okay, enter in my address, phone number, and date of birth. Sure,” said Mark.
“Place of birth and mother’s maiden name?” exclaimed Mark. “Boy, the menu has changed. Let me enter that right in.”
“Do I have a small mole near the top of my left thigh?” said Mark. “Wow, they really do know me. That would be a yes.”
“Who won the Super Bowl in 1984?” asked Mark. “I dunno. The Oakland Raiders? What’s the alternative question?”
“What is the maiden name of my second cousin on my mother’s side 2nd grade teacher?” said Mark. “Oh, that’s easy. Let me type that in.”
“Huh, it didn’t accept my answer,” said Mark. “Let me try again.”
“What? That’s the right name!” yelled Mark. “Oh, wait, I forgot to put it in all CAPS and use the happy face emoji.”
“Okay, that worked,” said Mark.
“Oh, I’ve got another call,” said Mark. “And it’s Social Security. They probably want me to solve their fiscal dilemma, you know the shortfall that’s coming in a few years. But I have to refill this prescription and if I hang up, I will have to verify all over again. I could just go there and do it in the store. But then I have to get dressed and I will miss the next documentary. Ooh, maybe I can do it on Pinterest!”