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It's Totes! The Bomb!


It’s Totes! The Bomb!

by Mark Lyons

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

SammySocks Etc. Blog - Comments and Observations from Someone Who Is a Retired Educator and the Father of Sammy (a Person with Autism). Visit us at www.sammysocksetc.com.

            “Delish!”

            “What was that?”

            “It’s totes! Delish!”

            “I’m sorry. What was that again?”

            “This soosh is totes! Delish, Babe!”

            “Who are you and what did you do with my husband, Mark?”

            “It is me, your betrothed, Mark, your man-catch!”

            “Then why are you talking like that, and why are you wearing skinny jeans?”

            “Well, like my old grade school buddy used to say, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it!””

            “Your grade school friend said that?”

            “100%. He read a lot.”

            “And what did you do to your hair?”

            “Do you like it? It’s totes fab, huh? Just a little something to touch up some of the gray.”

            “Touch up? It’s like you got run over by one of those asphalt street pavers.”

            “Thank you. And the jeans, well, I have been working out and wanted my wardrobe to reflect the hip, modern, up-to-date, socially fashion-conscious demeanor that fresh-minded, forward-thinking, out-of-the-box, paradigm shifting men like myself have a duty to present to the world.”

            (crickets)

            “Why is your mouth wide open but nothing is coming out of it? That’s just cray-cray!”

            “Just taking it all in. It’s a bit overwhelming.”

            “I know.”

            “And since when do you eat soosh, I mean sushi?”

            “Oh, it’s all the ray. There are scientific studies that have just come out showing the positive effects soosh has on slowing the aged induced onset of making unusual noises when getting up or sitting down.”

            “Okay, well, what do you want to do when we are done with supper? Or should I say sup?”

            “Nothin’. What sup with you?”

            “Huh?”

            “Just messin’ with you. A little modern, hip humor there.”

            “So, what do you want to do after supper?”

            “There’s this great film from Europe that takes place in the United States about a stowaway on a flight from New York to Paris that never actually gets off the ground.”

            “What?”

            “The plot is substantial. Will the stowaway get to see the inflight movie or not? It’s a metaphor on the complexity of life, you know, our constant battle with survival, love, worth and what movies to watch. It’s totes, the bomb!”

            “Oh, Mark!”


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