Have You Seen the Remote?

Have You Seen the Remote?

by Mark Lyons

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

SammySocks Etc. Blog - Comments and Observations from Someone Who Is a Retired Educator and the Father of Sammy of SammySocks Etc. Visit us at www.sammysocksetc.com.

            “Honey, have you seen the remote?” asked Mark as he walked into the room while munching on a sandwich, pickle on the side. He handed an identical sandwich to Sally, his wife, pickle on the sandwich.

            “It was here a minute ago,” answered Sally. “Didn’t you have it last?”

            “Uh, let me think,” replied Mark putting his sandwich plate down whereby the cat, Harley, promptly started to nibble its toasted edges. “Before I went into the kitchen to make our sandwiches, we, and by we I mean I, were watching that show about building steel skyscrapers. I don’t remember messing with the remote then because the show was so riveting.”

            (crickets)

            “You know, building steel skyscrapers …... riveting …... because that’s how they, uh, how they put the building, you know, together……,” said Mark. “Anyway, before that, we were watching that sci-fi, apocalyptic, rom-com where the love interests couldn’t ever get together because they kept having to hack their way through hordes of zombie aliens and a really bad script. We couldn’t look away, so we didn’t need the remote then.”

            “What were we watching before that?” asked Sally as she pulled a pickle out from between Harley’s front paws. “Wasn’t the weekly segment of “Superficial Wounds Gone Wrong” on the “All Things Oozing” cable channel?”

            “No,” said Mark. “We saw that yesterday. And, by the way, next week’s show, “Poison Ivy and You”, I’m itchin’ to see.”

            (crickets)

            “Ah, come on!” said Mark. “These are good!”

            Sally sighs and continues. “We could have used the remote when we started watching “Pickles: On the Sandwich or On the Side?” on the” Sandwich” channel. I think we did because you had been watching some show on the “Old Retired Teacher” channel.

            “Oh, yeah,” said Mark. “I did use the remote then. We had been napping because the “Meditation” channel played scenes of waves rolling in onto a beach somewhere in the Pacific while the score from South Pacific played quietly behind the sound of water making landfall. I used the remote to change it from the “Meditation” channel to the “Old Retired Teacher” channel to watch the show “How You Can Use the Same Lesson Plans Year After Year”. Then we watched the Pickle show. I don’t know what I did with the remote then. Oh, wait, I took it with me into the kitchen when I went to make our sandwiches. Now I remember! I put the remote in the refrigerator next to the pickles. There, problem solved. What do you want to watch now?”

            “Well, there’s this really good show on the “Kitty” channel about how to make your cat happy on less than five dollars a month,” said Sally.

            “Oh, it sounds like a really good combination of two things I really care about……making kitties happy and being cheap!” said Mark.

            “Yes,” said Sally. “It’s purr-fect!”

            “Oh, Sally,” said Mark.

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