She Is Going to Love These Gifts!

She Is Going to Love These Gifts!

by Mark Lyons

Image by Yao Charlen from Pixabay

            “She is going to love these gifts!” whispered Dave as he stood back and took a long look at the items spread across his bed. “I better get these wrapped before she gets back from her sister’s.”

            “I amaze myself sometimes,” said Dave under his breath. “These are so awesome! They weren’t even on her wish list, too. Boy is she going to be so surprised. Let’s see if I have all of them. There’s a blender, a weed whacker, a new kitchen trash can, a “Cook for Your Man” cookbook, a paper towel dispenser for the bathroom, and an extra-large jar of wrinkle cream. But something doesn’t seem right about all of this. What is it?”

            Dave thinks for a moment and then slaps himself upside his head. “How could I have been so thoughtless? I forgot the bathroom scale!”

            “Hey, Dave,” said Jane as she rushed into the house. “I got all the way to my sister’s and remembered that I hadn’t put on my new leopard spots crew socks from SammySocks Etc. I wanted to show my sister. But then she wanted to tell me about some friend of hers whose lame husband got her some awful gifts like a mixer and stuff for her birthday. What’s all this?”

            “Uh……… nothing?”