Overheard While Waiting in Line at the Post Office

Overheard While Waiting in Line at the Post Office

by Mark Lyons

Image by Couleur from Pixabay

These are conversations and out loud observations I overheard while waiting in an exceptionally long line at the Post Office.

            “I sent my husband here at 8:00 this morning to mail some packages but he came back home right away. He said there was a line. Married to him for 53 years. Should have known better but I guess I will stick it out – the marriage and this wait in line.”

            “How far does this line go back? Where’s the end? I didn’t know this Post Office was this big!”

            “Do I stay in line and be late for my root canal or go on, get the root canal, and then come back here? Hmm.”

            “I think my feet have gone to sleep!”

            “Wow, my press on toenails do look great, but I think I need to protect them with a new pair of women’s, classic black, no show socks from SammySocks Etc.”

            “I bet they raise the price of postage while we are here in line, it’s been so long.”

            “Hi, Honey. Yeah, I’m in line here at the Post Office. It will be a while longer. I love you. Bye………. No, you hang up. You hang up. You hang……. oh, okay.”

            “This is worse than the DMV!”

            “Would you please save my place in line? I have to pick up my kids, get groceries, feed my neighbor’s cat, go to the cleaners, get a perm, and mow my lawn. I should be back before the line moves.”

            “I hope my mom likes this weed whacker I am getting her for her birthday. Dad says she is always getting the cutting line tangled on the back fence posts. Since Dad says she’s always choking on the fumes from the gas engine on the one she now has, this one is electric. I threw in an extra-long 200-foot extension cord so she can reach the very back.”

            “Hello, I’m especially important and busy here. My day is busy and full of rush, rush, rush. Yes, I am standing in line at the Post Office while I am talking to you on the phone, but high pressure, intense goings on here. Uh, I’m getting another call on the line – terribly important. It’s the Assistant to the Under Secretary of the Vice President of Ulterior Motives calling. Must go. Call you back.”

            “Are you in line?”

            “Yes, yes I am.”

            “Is that a peanut butter and banana sandwich you are munching on?”

            “Uh, yes, yes it is.”

            “I think you dropped some on your white jump suit. Are those rhinestones?”

            “Yes, yes they are.”

            “I think you got some peanut butter on your shoes, too. Blue suede are they?”

            “Yes, thank you. Thank you very much.”

            I did finally make it to the front of the line at the Post Office. Good times!